Fucking Sucks

Found out last week that my grandmother has stage 4 cancer - it's in her lungs, liver and bones. She goes Friday for an "official" diagnosis and to find out what's next. This fucking sucks. It more than fucking sucks. She is the beacon of our family, that of which everything is centered around. All birthdays, holidays, celebrations, everything is held at her house. I am so angry, so sad. I fluctuate between extreme sadness at the thought of her not being here and extreme anger at the fact that this is happening to her. FUCK